I want to be honest, sincerely
The star will fall for a moment
Feelings. “We are human, so we feel. We feel, so we understand. We are fragile, but all is well” The roses drop. I want to be honest, so I will.
Honestly, I have been wondering: why do I have to feel this and that.
The pressure: Have you guys ever felt uncomfortable confronting the truth? The truth might be bitter, but it is always better than hiding. I want to be honest, so here is the truth— I never really like math. Ever since elementary school, I have hated it. Math felt more like pressure test to me, even though I never scored terribly on final test. In fact, I might have seemed like I was good at math. So, I have been wondering, is it math that I hate or the feeling that you should get the correct answer faster than your friend? You know, back in elementary school, the first student that answer the question was seen the smartest, and the last was considered as stupid. So, I get that pressure. So maybe, just maybe, I hate the pressure, not the math. I hated the fear of looking dumb.
The self-love: “When the sharpest word gonna cut me down, I’m gonna send a flood, gonna drown them out” (This is me, The greatest showman). I want to be honest, people might hate you and that’s not a problem because it is out of your control. The hardest part and something that we often feel is ‘you start hating yourself’ Are you gonna send a flood and drown yourself too? I always get emotional when I remember the fact that ‘Allah loves us’. Then, if our creator loves us, isn’t that enough. Isn’t that all we need? So, why don’t we love ourselves? Then, if our minds start spinning nonsense and making up scenario that you’re not loved and good enough. Drown out that inner monologue.
The authenticity embrace: Even though I look shy and cheesy, I don’t want to pretend to be someone else. I want to be honest, I admire people who can speak confidently and give a speech in front of people, formal occasion, and stay still. But, I have been wondering, I love playing character, I love being on stage. Then, what am I really afraid of? Not the shyness, not the stage, not the attention. Probably it is because portraying a character is not showing myself. People can’t hate me, they can only judge the character I’m portraying? So, I want to be honest, I want to be just like this, just be me.
The subtle act: I want to be honest and I want to be subtle, not literally ‘I want to lie’. We are afraid of hurting people, so we’d like to cover up. Making things stay blurry and unclear. But, is that really better? What do you think?
Let’s be honest with ourselves, starting now, haha! It’s not always easy and might be uncomfortable, but honesty is a journey. There will be challenge along the way. Be honest of what you like, what you dislike, be authentic. If we keep moving forward, we’ll get there. And when we do, we’ll feel lighter, more authentic, and more at peace with who we truly are. So, let’s commit to being real with ourselves, one honest moment at a time. We’ve got this!
Hi, guys! how are guys doing? It feels really nice to talk to you here after very long time. I hope you guys have a nice day!